Retiree Blows the Lid off Toilet Paper Scandal

Georgia Pacific, you got some ’splainin’ to do: [link]

A retired fella named Leo Hill noticed that the TP in his rolls seemed to run out quicker when he bought a 12-pack as opposed to a 4-pack. This odd scatalogical cognitive dissonance led him to count the number of sheets in his rolls of TP, coming up some forty-sheets short per-roll across a nine-roll average.

While The Denver Post tried –and failed– to replicate the results of the experiment, I submit that they’re beholden to the Toilet Paper Lobby and I would like to take this opportunity to call upon Toiletry’s noted authorities, The Toilet Museum, and Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, to plumb this matter more deeply so that the sitting public can know relief.

The Brawny Lumberjack was unavailable for comment. He was last seen hollering for a spare roll at the outhouse.